Bean Sprouts & Futuristic Deathsquads

This story, recently and repetitively requested by dear old David (rather obnoxiously I might add), is story from way back in the vaults of time that time forgot then lost the key, when the only thing I had to worry about was worrying about worrying, trying to remember remembering, and..... buying bean sprouts that were maliciously left on the 99Yen shop shelf well after their expiration date (14 hours). It was 2 months ago.

I had been flying high on an instant ramen tip, eating up that shit 3 times a day because I was too poor to afford real food (or even McDonald's) and mixing in some bean sprouts to add some crunchy healthiness to the otherwise overly salty noodle soup. Well, luck has seen me through some sticky situations recently (like accidentally dropping 3 gooey natto beans on my freshly laundered gray sweat pants [I ended up washing them again] or thinking a deathsquad of stormtroopers from the near future was hunting me like a dog through the streets of Setagaya Ward, Tokyo [just a nightmare; too much chocolate before bedtime], but that fiery vixen, Luck, cast her shadow over me that cool December afternoon and purged me from her Garden in Eden (most likely somewhere near the Jersey Shore north of Atlantic City).

I noticed a funky smell reminiscent of my dad's expired pesticides and herbicides when I shoveled the ginormous pile of pale green bean sprouts into the steaming bowl of ramen; it was not a pleasant smell to say the least and to say the most, that smell sucked donkey balls, but we will leave it at the least to keep up appearances.I hurriedly hurried back down the street to the 99Yen Store and was almost hit by oncoming traffic, which did nothing to appease the mood god that was angrily demanding that aforementioned appeasement inside my empty belly.

I got to store, explained my situation, then the clerk chick blushed & apologized profusely, gave me a new bag of sprouts, and sent me on my way. I opened the bag to get a whiff of the new sprouts which were well under the date of expiry ( 14 hours) and to my surprise they smelled the same!! I realized that they had always smelled like that, so I just discontinued my tri-daily ramen ritual and decided to experiment with tofu.

The sun set successfully on 2007 and I welcomed in 2008 with a heaping helping of tasty tofu!